Should My Flatmate Avoid Brushing Her Teeth at the Kitchen Basin?

The Prosecution: Her View

It's audible her rinsing and spitting from my room. I have a visceral reaction to it.

She has been roommates with her housemate for 24 months, after they each experienced breakups and required a new place to live. She’s entertaining and considerate, but what bothers her at home is her habit to brush her teeth around the house.

Gina has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and is always doing three tasks at once. She will misplace her keychain in the door, which Raquel worries about, or forget where she put her brush in the morning.

I will return and notice that Gina has left it on the side of the kitchen counter after using it, which Raquel finds gross, because the kitchen is for food preparation, not for spitting. It’s where vegetables get washed and cups are washed. It should not be where Raquel looks down and sees a foam residue of toothpaste dripping towards the drain.

There, she has another bad habit – she drinks directly from the tap while brushing her teeth. Rarely, not twice, but four or five times a session to rinse out her mouth.

She bends over, sucks water directly from the tap, moves it around her mouth and expels it. Raquel can hear the whole symphony from the bedroom, and it triggers a visceral reaction. I lie there and recoil. Wouldn't it be better to just use a container?

I doesn't know if her mouth is contacting the faucet, but I doesn't want to know. That’s the identical tap Raquel uses when I washes my face and when I refills my water bottle.

I believes it's not me overreacting. It relates to cleanliness, and recognising that common areas require shared standards. Oral hygiene should be confined to the bathroom basin, and done without turning the tap into a communal drinking fountain.

Gina has promised she will attempt to cease, but every time Raquel asks, she pauses for about a seven days and then resumes again.

Residing with someone with ADHD is demanding at the easiest moments, but at times I believes Gina relies on it as an justification. I isn't flawless, but if someone asks her to change something, I will try to consider it. Gina could try a bit harder.

The Response: Gina's Argument

Coping with ADHD is hard, besides, the kitchen is not some untouchable exclusive zone.

Gina states that Raquel is exaggerating and ignoring the full picture. Gina occasionally brushes her teeth in the kitchen sink, sips from the bathroom tap and leaves my stuff out of place, but this is just typical for having a brain like hers.

I live with the condition, and that means becoming sidetracked easily. In the early hours before leaving, Gina will brush her teeth at the simultaneously as putting on my shoes, or making my lunch in the kitchen because she is multitasking.

The kitchen basin has running water and disposal just like the bathroom sink, and it everything ends up in the same pipes. It’s not, as she believes, some sacred food-only zone.

I cleans the basin afterwards – I is not leaving spit lingering around. And, in fact, the kitchen sink likely gets sanitized more frequently than the bathroom sink. Gina also does not do this daily. It's only signs if I forgets my toothbrush on the counter, which I shouldn’t do but her brain overlooks to return it occasionally.

With the faucets, lots of people drink from them. Gina was raised practicing this. Her brother and I would always clean our teeth like this. To me, it’s commonplace to rinse your mouth out by sipping from the tap. Using a glass every time seems like unnecessary admin.

I doesn't put my whole mouth around the faucet, I just kind of positions, or tilts the flow towards her and collects it. The way Raquel pictures it, it’s like I is a feline with a bowl, licking it clean.

I likes to rinse properly, so I does take around multiple rinses, which might sound too much, but it means her teeth are clean.

Bathrooms are not aseptic laboratories, and microbes are everywhere. Unless she is sterilizing the faucet daily, we’re both coming into contact with germs in the bathroom.

Coping with the condition is hard. Plus, Gina could list things she practices that irritate Gina: everyone has bad habits, but I accepts them because we share a home.

I cannot promise that she will change. I has tried not to move about cleaning her teeth, but she keeps forgetting.

The Jury

Ought She Stop Brushing Her Concerns Away?

Some believe that she should understand that she and Gina already share germs just by cohabiting. Sipping from the faucet is not unsanitary – although she sucked on it – because the liquid is on the inside of the pipe.

But it sounds as if Gina thinks her condition gives her a free pass. She should acknowledge her discomfort and attempt to adjust her habits. Also, washing after brushing your teeth washes away the fluoride – you should just expel.

Others note that her discomfort at what Gina sees as innocuous habits is about beyond toothbrushing. If she changes her ways, Raquel will soon find fault with something else.

It seems as if this living arrangement has run its course. She is right that in common areas we must make accommodations, but she is declining to respect a reasonable preference from her flatmate.

It's less about cleanliness than about consideration of limits. Using from the faucet is acceptable, if there’s no direct mouth contact. But leaving a toothbrush on the kitchen sink is gross – period.

Should Raquel can learn to work with her ADHD, Gina can show effort to change. Moreover, not washing after brushing her teeth means she will keep the advantages of the toothpaste and solve two problems in one.

Now You Be the Judge

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